New Years
by Amaris Ethne
Summary: It's New Years and Harper has planned the party. Everyone run for their lives. This was written very early in the morning while I was drunk. Give me some slack. I think it's funny, but u be the judge!!


New Years  
By Trance Harper  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, someone else does. I just don't know who. And, frankly, I don't really care.   
  
Notes: Okay, it's about 1:30 in the morning and I really shouldn't have had that ninth Mad Dog 20. This story is just to have fun. I really don't care if it's character correct. Note this, though: Rommie's program is going haywire. Or this is what she would really do. Who knows? Anything in bright red and all CAPS are little side notes from me. Feel free to e-mail me at Klingontemper@aol.com with any comments or suggestions, or if you're really bored and just want to edit this. And remember: DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!  
And now, on with the fanfic!!  
  
Loud heavy metal music blared through the ship. It was December 31, New Years Eve, and there was a huge party on the Andromeda Ascendant. Everyone was on the Observation Deck, which had been transformed by Harper to look like Seraglio,(OR SERALIO, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT!!!) but so far there were no slave girls. Trance had made Harper take those out. (BUT HE DIDN'T DELETE THEM! ONE OF THESE DAYS HE'LL PROBABLY LET THEM OUT OF HIS CLOSET.) The lights were turned down low with harmless lasers flashing through the air. Harper and a holographic man were tending the bar while Trance tried to get Tyr to join into the fun. (GOOD LUCK! HE WILL LATER THOUGH!!) Becka and Dylan were both at the wooden bar, downing a couple drinks and talking about whatever it was that they found in common. Rommie strolled over toward Harper, who had left the hologram to tend the bar and was attempting to teach Rev how to dance.   
" Rev, you have to shake your butt!" Harper yelled over the loud music.  
"Like this?" Rev asked, attempting to do so, but just falling onto what he was trying to shake. Harper just shook his head and slapped his forehead.   
" Note to self: do not tell Rev to shake anything. Okay, now watch me." Harper said as another song started to play and Harper started to dance. Rev carefully watched him and tried to imitate his moves, only to harm himself.  
" Ouch. Well, Rev, you won't be having any kids anytime soon. Let's stay away from Michael Jackson's moves. Hey Rom! How do you like the party?" Harper asked, just noticing the android.  
" Most of it is fine. But I do not see the reason for this." Rommie said, holding up her glass.  
" What's in it?" Harper asked.  
" I'm not sure. That holographic man at the bar just gave it to me." Rommie said. Harper put out his hand and Rommie handed him the glass. He took a cautious sip.   
" It's vodka." Harper said, handing it back to Rommie.  
" Vodka? You mean alcohol? I do not think my programming can function when combined with alcohol." Rommie said. Harper laughed.  
" I made a couple modifications to your program last night. You can function fine." Harper said. Rommie only nodded and moved on.  
" Okay, now try this. Put both arms out, then turn them over. Good, now put your hands on the inside of your elbows..." Harper instructed Rev.   
Rommie noticed Dylan watching her. Becka had gone over and was talking to Tyr. Rommie had never noticed how handsome Dylan really was. His blue eyes seemed to bore right into her dark ones. She had heard Harper say something about it being tradition to kiss someone at midnight. She decided to make sure she was the one to kiss Dylan.   
" So, are you enjoying the party?" Dylan asked as Rommie approached.   
" Of course. Harper really did do a good job at decorating in here. Though the music isn't my favorite." Rommie said, sitting on a barstool near Dylan.   
  
Meanwhile Harper had finished teaching Rev how to dance. Well, dance as much as a Magog Wayist could. He was heading back to tend the bar when he noticed Trance sitting by it. He leaned on the other side of the bar from her.   
" You want a drink?" Harper asked her.   
" Sure, but don't make it too strong. I haven't had much alcohol before." Trance said.   
" Of course." Harper said, a sly smile on his face. Now, that information I can use. Harper thought. He reached up into the bar and grabbed a bottle of vodka and filled a glass half full of it. Then he grabbed some captain morgan, and dumped a little in, then he took some burben and filled the glass the rest of the way with it. That should do it. By midnight she'll be so drunk she won't remember a thing in the morning. Harper thought.   
" Here." He said and handed her the strong drink. Then just leaned back against the bar to wait for the drink to set in so he could make his move.   
  
Rommie hurried through the halls of the Andromeda. She didn't want anyone to notice that she had left. Especially Dylan. She entered the Medical Ward and went over to a medicine cabinet. She grabbed some powder that, when mixed with liquid makes you really drowsy. This will be perfect. I just sprinkle a little of this in Dylan's glass, and when he wakes up all he'll remember is me helping him into his bed after he had too much to drink. The Android thought. She quickly closed the cabinet and hurried back to the party.   
  
"Hi, Dylan." Rommie said, coming up behind him.   
" Hey. There you are." Dylan said. Rommie sat next to him and made small talk. Come on, come on. Just finish that drink. Then I can go get up both another one and drug it. Rommie thought. Finally Dylan finished off his drink.  
" I'm going to go get something to drink. You want one?" Rommie asked.   
" Sure, a martini." Dylan said. Rommie nodded went to get the drinks.   
  
Meanwhile Tyr was not paying any attention while Becka talked to him. He was too busy looking down her shirt. She had nice boobs. Ones that he would like to get his hands on. And maybe his mouth. She wasn't genetically engineered, but Tyr figured he could put that fact aside. Besides, it was a holiday. He noticed Becka looking at him, and he realized that she had asked him a question.  
" You have very nice breasts. They are very large." Tyr blurted out, not thinking. Becka's face went from surprise to anger.  
" Bite me, pervert." Becka said.  
" Just tell me where." Tyr said. And, before he knew what was happening, Becka's booted foot kicked him between the legs.  
" Hey! I was planning on using that later on! I believe it would be in your best interest that it not get damaged." Tyr shouted in a high-pitched voice.  
" I'll give you damage." Becka said and again kicked him there, harder than the last, then turned on her heel and stalked away. Perhaps I should ask Harper exactly what was in that drink he gave me. Tyr thought.  
  
Harper was still leaning behind the bar, watching as Rommie sprinkled something in one of the martinis he had just handed her. He shrugged it off, figuring that if she wanted to drug someone, let her. She was programmed in multiple techniques. (HEY! LIKE DATA!) Thanks to Harper's extraordinary programming skills. It was about time she used them. He watched as Tyr, who was walking kinda funny left the room, pain evident on his face. Harper wondered if Tyr liked the vodka, coffee, captain morgan, and mad dog 20 mixture he had given him. (WHICH, IF ANYONE IS WONDERING IS GOOD!) Harper had figured that Tyr could stomach some pretty strong stuff. He hoped he wasn't wrong. If he was, then Tyr would be seeing the mixture again real soon. He noticed Trance attempting to walk. She wobbled and was whipping her tail around, trying to regain her balance. He smiled. Show time. He thought and jumped over the bar to go and help her.   
  
Meanwhile Rommie watched as Dylan's eyes began to droop, and he could barley keep his head up.   
" Dylan? Are you all right? You don't look so good. Maybe you shouldn't have had so many drinks." Rommie said.  
" Ye I gus yr rit." Dylan slurred. Rommie put an arm around his shoulders and helped him stand up. Then she helped him leave the room.  
  
When midnight finally came Rev was out on the dance floor attempting the Macerena. But when it came time to shake his hips he kept doing it wrong and pulling a muscle that as Harper had mentioned earlier was very important for reproducing. (NOT THAT WE REALLY WANT REV TO REPRODUCE. THAT'S JUST WRONG. LITTLE WAYISTS RUNNING AROUND? ONE'S QUITE ENOUGH.) When finally a large glass ball dropped from the ceiling as a sign that it was the beginning of a New Year, the only person that Rev could see in the darkness was Becka. So he went over there and kissed her. Then got kneed in that oh so important muscle. In the darkness neither had noticed everyone leaving to tend to their own business. (WHICH PROBABLY WAS A GOOD THING.)  
  
Meanwhile Andromeda got to practice each and every one of her techniques in the eight hours the drug had Dylan knocked out for, and was out of the room when he did wake up. He still thinks it was just a bad dream.(OR MAYBE A GOOD ONE, DEPENDS ON IF HE'S DRUNK OR NOT.)  
  
Harper and Trance, on the other hand had fun much longer than when Trance woke up. Turns out she DID have something for him. And Dylan was left wondering where his engineer and ES officers were for over three days until the two were finally forced to quit and get some sleep!! Then Rev found them. (THERE'S A PRETTY PICTURE! WALKING IN ON THE LOVE GOD/EXALTED LOVE MACHINE AND THE SPARKLY PURPLE BABE GOING AT IT.)   
  
Tyr and Rev both went to the Med. Ward the next day to get their injuries repaired. Tyr never did find out what was in that drink Harper gave him.  
  
And Harper started to plan for NEXT YEARS party. Maybe this time, Trance will let him use the slave girls. (OR TRANCE WILL BE ONE OF THE SLAVE GIRLS! OH! ANOTHER REALLY BAD MENTAL IMAGE!)  
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Okay, there is my story. It is now 2:16 AM and I'm drinking a mad dog 20 and burben mixture, trying to get the image of The Exalted Love Machine and The Sparkly Purple Babe out of my head. Maybe I should add coffee to it. Nah, I'd like to sleep this year. Happy New Year everybody, and remember: FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRIVE DRUNK!! Or, even if your enemy wants to, stop him. DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE! And, if you're wondering why I'm obsessing over this, I've had three family members and two friends killed by drunk drivers in the past few years. I really don't want to go to any funerals in 2001. 


End file.
